maggiealderson

Seven Days of Positive – Day 94

In Hospital, Musicals, Parents on December 22, 2014 at 10:39 pm

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It might have been hard to find much good in today. I spent most of it at the hospital with my mother.

I had to rush her to A&E when this thing flared up and we were there most of the day. It’s been horrible for her and pretty freaky for me.

The rational side of your brain tells you ageing is only natural, but the reality of seeing your beloved mum, once so vital and beautiful, with charisma that could light up a room, transformed into this tiny little frail bird of a creature, trembling in a hospital bed, finding it hard even to take a sip of water… well, it’s just horrible.

Making it even more poignant, there was another family on the other side of the curtain who were there with their mum – she’d had a fall and broken her hip. My heart was bursting with empathy for them.

I could hear what a lovely lady their mum was and at one point she wept because she felt a burden to them. A tear slid down my own cheek and I was glad my mum was napping and didn’t see it.

But… but… there was good, because the staff at the hospital were so amazing. They saw my mum immediately, they were kind, gentle, caring and nice – and they didn’t want to keep her in, which was a huge relief.

When we got home, she refused to go to bed, she wanted to sit by the fire and be involved with life, which showed an encouraging sign of her customary game spirit. She has always very much taken part in life.

I sat with her and with the most marvellous bit of luck The Railway Children was on TV.

It was a film we adored as a family when it came out and it was very special to watch it with her and Peggy Junior, even though Peggy Senior nodded off through a lot of it.

In another bonus, after watching a bit of Paul Hollywood and Mary Berry baking for Christmas and other delights, what should be on? Only my favourite musical: Guys and Dolls.

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To gaze upon the face of a young Marlon Brando is truly balm to the troubled soul.

The ‘Woman in Love’ scene with Jean Simmons makes me swoon. He couldn’t sing very well, but he could certainly make you believe he was in love.

There’s a moment where he kisses the palm of her hand which makes me faint nearly dead away. He even had beautiful hands.

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And after a very challenging day, with the prospect of a difficult Christmas, I will go to sleep with that memory to comfort me.

This clip isn’t very good quality, but it’ll give you an idea.

PS In light of today’s events, I don’t whether I’ll be able to keep up my daily posts over the next week. I’ll take each day as it comes.

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  1. Maggie, sending you love and positive thoughts and to your much loved Mum as well. Mums are very precious – no matter how old we are, they are still mothering us. I am currently re-reading for the umpteenth time, Handbags and Gladrags A feel good book.
    Your Seven Days of Positive are a highlight of my day, do what you need to do to get through – wishing you joy. xx Vivian

  2. Best wishes to you and your Mum Maggie.

  3. Sending love to you and your dear Mum…I have been there too…it is heart breaking…my heart is with you at this time. ..angels watch over you.

  4. Hi maggie. Very sorry to hear that your mother is not well. I hope she improves and things go as well as they can. Happy christmas . Katex

  5. All the best Maggie. I too have a very frail, very elderly mum….it’s always a worry. I’d miss you’re daily positive posts……but we all know what your priorities must lie.

    • It doesn’t get any easier, does it Jan? It’s like the opposite of raising a child, each day she can do a little less. But we are not alone, there are so many of us doing this xxx

  6. Wishing you a safe and happy Christmas. Family is more important than anything else.

  7. Thank you for bringing joy to the world including my part of it for many years. Wishing you and your family a happy Christmas and precious time with your mum.

  8. Best wishes, Maggie, to you and your family. I hope there are no more dramas. It is so difficult seeing our parents health deteriorating. So heartbreaking.
    Thank you for your “Seven Days”.It is a bright spot every day for me, especially while our family is going through major issues with my Mum.
    Do what you need to and I’ll look forward to new posts whenever you next get a chance to write them.
    Be assured you make a lot of people happy. Look after yourself.
    Cheers,
    Gail

  9. Wishing you all the best, Maggie. I hope you mum recovers well and your family enjoys Christmas without any troubles.

    I’ve been there too, am there, with my mother-in-law, who is elderly. I don’t particularly enjoy her company, but I try very hard to to be there for her and to empathise, as being old is no fun, and she has noone else to rely on. Old age is hard, and something you start undestanding a bit better when faced with it. Love is what gets you through. And faith.

    Stay well, and Merry Christmas!!

    • Old age is such a test for everyone. We weren’t designed to live as long as we are now, which sounds awful, but I believe that. Mind you, I do know some women in their late 90s who are simply amazing, so I suppose a lot of it depends on the shape you’re in. x

      • Yes I believe that too, though it’s still a bit of a taboo to admit it I find, but yes I say it too, as it is in honesty and it’s real. People think it’s great to live up to a hundred, and it is, until many ailments start and various illnesses take hold. Doing an operation on an 85-year old is a norm nowdays and doctors are quite good at prolonging life…

        When my FIL passed away a few years ago at 75, the lady I know pesonally, who is running nursing homes, exclaimed “A baby!!!!” when I told her what his age was…cracked me up!!
        x

  10. Glad your mum is home for Christmas and she can enjoy the Scottish smoke salmon.

  11. Have yourself a very merry little Christmas

  12. Beautiful words about your mum. So much love present in every one of them. My best wishes to you and your family for wellbeing this Christmas.

    PS. I was thinking of Guys and Dolls this morning. Love it. xx

  13. Maggie, I do hope Christmas gets better and that your poor mother is cheered by being around her darling daughter, son-in-law and granddaughter. Merry Christmas from the antipodes!

  14. Wishing your mother a quick return to good health and wishing you and your family a very merry Xmas.
    Your blog of positivity is such a joyful place to visit.

  15. Maggie sending strong wishes from Oz that your mum will be ok. Absolutely terrible seeing our mums sick. So fabulous for you both to have each other. Nothing quite like a beautiful mother and daughter bond. Hope Christmas will be a good one for you all

  16. Maggie, you always write about your mother with such love, that I feel I know her. It is so hard when a parent assumes the role of the child, with all the vulnerabilities that come with that. Enjoy your precious time together. Love and prayers are sent your way.

    I am writing this looking out at the Serpentine – Chloe and I stayed in Knighstbridge last night for a treat. We’re off to a couple of antiquey markets this morning and then shopping at Dover Street Market – thanks for the suggestion. Yesterday was cultural immersion at the V& A and British Museum. But we tempered that with a visit to Winter Wonderland – gloriously OTT, just like the rides at the Royal Easter Show.

    Have a beautiful Christmas with all your family. Xxxx

  17. I find most blogs fairly trite and self indulgent but yours is like having a chat with a friend and I look forward to it every day. Best wishes to your mum and your family. xxx

  18. Maggie, never mind about us.

    We’re all out here wishing the best for your Mother and yourself. I hope you found the practice of Being Positive (even when things are quite shitty) helped you through your ordeal. Please keep it up even if you don’t share.

    Thanks for introducing Young Marlon Brando to me. I didn’t realise he was so swoon-worthy.

    All the best to you and yours for Christmas and beyond

  19. I agree we weren’t designed to live as long as we do now. We don’t want to lose our dear ones but their frailty and not wanting to be a burden is utterly gut wrenching.
    Young Peggy’s sweet smile no doubt gives Peggy senior much joy.
    All the best for the coming weeks. A

  20. When I was young I assumed that as we age all the emotional turmoil of being alive would settle, so that in middle age I would be serene and capable. I was so wrong! The joys and sorrows of life are so much sharper, and the challenges so hard… who’d have thought. Wishing your family a lovely Christmas.

  21. Dear Maggie- I’m hoping your mum is feeling a little better today. It sounds like you have a very special connection and what a special gift to you both that is. Wishing you all a lovely Christmas.

  22. Hi Maggie,

    Sending your warm Christmas wishes to you and your family and a speedy recovering to your dear mum. Mum’s are so very precious.

    We’re facing our first Christmas without Dad, her dear husband of almost 54 years so wanted to treat her to a special day. So yesterday off we headed to the city for a fancy lunch, a manicure and a brow tint followed by the very last minute gift shopping. A beautiful day. Enjoy every moment with your mum. Merry Christmas! Mel. xo

  23. Warmest wishes for a happy Christmas to you and your family, Maggie. Your Seven Days warms my spirit each time it arrives in my Inbox – so much so that when I relaunch my website I’ll be including your link, and starting my own Days of Positive.
    With much appreciation, gratitude, and wishing Peggy Senior well-being,
    Ruth H from Oz

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