PS Have to add a post script to this because of all the great comments, thank you all SO much.
I did have George Clooney on my original list, but left him off as I thought it was dragging on a bit. Cary Grant also crossed my mind, but I was trying to do more recent arrivals at the Lust Ball. Clive Owen was also in consideration. Brad and Johnny never, as I don’t think either of them has aged well, although I do love Johnny’s acting.
But I realised this morning there was a couple of GLARING omissions and they have now been added. See the end of the piece…. and keep those comments rolling.
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Yesterday me and my big sister bought a copy of The Lady magazine entirely because it had a picture of Colin Firth on the cover. We giggled wildly as we took it to the till and then play fought over who got to read it first.
Our collective age goes into three figures.
Obviously we are much too old for this kind of carry on, but I don’t think I will ever stop being a fan. I hope I never do. Having virtual mini crushes on film stars, footballers, rock stars etc makes me feel alive.
And it’s much better for a happily married woman than having a crush on someone you actually know.
The secret of it, though, is not to have one life-long celebrity crush. That’s stalkerish and a bit sad. The next thing you know, you’ll be running the Cliff Richard Fan Club and booking the coach for the big trip down to the Palladium.
To suck the life giving goodness out of a mini crush you have to constantly have new ones. So here is my current roster – with a couple of admissions to more long-term sympathies…
I go way back with Colin. I saw his Hamlet, the year he was graduating from the Drama Centre, because my then boyfriend was a fellow student at the drama school and smuggled me in to see it.
Then went on to see him in Another Country, with Rupert Everett, one of the best plays I’ve ever been to. Which is all to say the future Sir Colin has been on my radar from the very start of his career, but I’ve never fancied him until now.
I didn’t even get the whole Mr Darcy thing, as I will never be able to see anyone other Lawrence Olivier in that role. And I could never understand why Bridget Jones would choose him over the drop dead gorgeous Hugh Grant.
But at some point in A Single Man, I fell madly in love with our Colin and that love has increased ten fold with The King’s Speech.
Which just goes to show some things definitely get better with age.
Yes, I know he’s gay. But Tom is one of those gay men who loves flirting with women. He wants us to fancy him.
I’ve been in love with him ever since I first saw him stroll onto a Gucci catwalk at the end of a show, one shirt button too many left undone. He’s got the sexiest eyes going and he knows it.
I have loved him even more since A Single Man (see above) which I thought was brilliant. And even more since the BAFTAs when he and Julianne Moore giggled and nipped and poked, all the way through it.
I want to be their friend.
What? Yes, I know he looks like a middle-aged woman. The kind you’ll see elbowing their way through the Bloomingdales’ sale. I think that’s a large part of his appeal.
He looks particularly like Carly Simon, now I come to think of it, and she’s a very good woman to look like.
But if you don’t share my love of the tiny snake-hipped lead singer from Aerosmith, father of the more beautiful Liv, please check out this clip of him on American Ido
I heart him.
Darling darling Becks. The sweetest smile, the hottest bod and just such an all-round lovely bloke.
I love that he gets styled up to put the bins out – according to Mrs Beckham. I love that he loves playing with Lego. ‘I know it’s not a career,’ he has said. ‘But I just love doing it.’
And I love that he’s such a patriot, he agreed to wearthat terrible Marks & Spencer team suit to the World Cup last year, as part of the England support squad – even though the stupid coach won’t play him any more.
I just really really wish he’d move back to the UK.
If you haven’t seen Jamon Jamon, the 1992 film which brought Bardem and Penelope Cruz to international attention for the first time, get hold of a copy today.
About sex, religion, mothers, bullfighting and ham, it’s as hilarious as it is sexy. The chemistry between the two of them threatens to set light to the projection box, so it’s just perfect they’ve finally ended up together.
But she can have him in real life, the rest of us can be content with the naked bull fighting scene in the film.
I go back a bit with Rob. I met him in 2005 when my daughter was in a film with him. True.
It was before he’d even been in Harry Potter, so imagine seeing Rob Pattinson in real life, before you’d ever seen a photo of him…
He stepped out of his trailer and I was rendered literally speechless that someone could be so beautiful. He didn’t seem entirely of this world.
My daughter, then nearly four, fell immediately in love with him and repaired to a nearby meadow to pick him a bunch of wild flowers. When she gave them to him, he blushed.
The film is The Haunted Airman, if you want to take a look. The director is one of my oldest friends, which is how Peggy got to be in it (I’m not some ghastly stage mother…)
Anyway, the delightful young man we met doing that is quite separate in my head from Rob in the role of Edward Cullen in Twilight. It’s Edward the tortured vampire I fancy, not Rob.
I would be embarrassed to tell you how many times I’ve watched that film – except I know that so many of my normal grown up girlfriends feel the same.
Rather as above, I know this picture is of an actor called Mark Salling, but to me it’s Puck. The badass, Mohawk toting, jock from Glee.
There’s nothing else to say.
I was so relieved when 17 Again came out as I could finally go public about my lust for Zac. While he was starring in movies aimed at my daughter’s demographic it had felt way too pervy.
One sight of that hairy armpit in the opening sequences and it was open season on Zac.
And, if you watch Hairspray (which I also have on DVD…), you’ll see he’s such a fabulous dancer.
How could I have forgotten them? My boys! My men!
I can’t quite explain my deep lust and longing for these five fellas from the North of England. Individually they don’t stand up to close scrutiny, but it’s something about the five of them together – and I do mean five. Robbie has to be there.
The whole really is greater than the sum of the parts.
I’ve always thought my Take That fetish stemmed from the way they remind of the boys I went to school with, not very far from where they all grew up, but so many of my girlfriends, from all points of the compass feel exactly the same, there must be more to it.
July 4th, 2011 I have a date with them at Wembley Stadium. Bring. It. On.
Although if I can’t get close enough to the stage to smell Robbie’s testicles I will want my money back.
Robbie, Robbie, Robbie. The bloke from Stoke. I bloody love him. I grew up just a few miles from where he did and his accent has a Proustian affect on me.
I know lots of you won’t like him, but even if you don’t find him a sex god, as I do, his music is amazing. I’m a lyrics maniac and Robbie’s are up there with the greats. Really.
Let Me Entertain You has just had me dancing round the kitchen like a wild woman. While I was making some scones.
And that, ladies, is what grown up girl crushes are all about.
You were right. He should have been here all along. He puts the hubba into hubba.
So those are my current crushes. Who do you love?